So Much More

I have so much.

Time. I spend so much of my time focusing on all the things I don’ t have, instead of all that I do. I focus more attention to all that I am not, instead of all that I am. And I let anxieties about what could be steal joy away from what actually is.

I am learning–

that I have so much.

I do not stop. I am always running in circles. I have a lot of days where everything feels empty, and yet I can’t pause for long enough to stop and remember my purpose. I have never been good at slowing down and being silent. I have grown so used to noise that I don’t know what to do with the quiet. I don’t have time to remember why I am here–and yet how will I ever be who I was made to be if I don’t make that time.

When I realize this,

I realize–

I have so much.

I have a gift. A gift that is irreplaceable. A gift that is full of opportunities and chances. Every morning I have air in my lungs. I have a day full of new chances and opportunities that I overlook and see as ordinary, when they are anything but that. I have a gift,

I have life–

I have so much.

I have a passion. I have a passion, but I bottle it up. I don’t set aside time to do things I love, because it takes work. Discipline isn’t glamorous. There is always something mindless to do instead. I have a passion, but it isn’t growing because I would rather do what is easy.

It makes me realize–

I have so much.

I have freedom to step into myself. To express my heart in front of an audience of one or one hundred thousand. And yet my eyes are glued to a screen that shows me how every other person is trying to be like every other person, and how I’m falling short. I choose to focus on their success, their joys, their lives–when I could pour so much energy into my own.

Sometimes when I remember this,

I remember–

that I have so much.

I do.

I have so much–

The question is, what am I doing with it?

Will I still have “so much” when I look back a year from now?

Or will I choose to live life differently,

and have so much more?

xx, Madi

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